On Living Through Life's Stages With Grace and Success

"Everything has a time and a place. Everyone has a need to be met, a task to be achieved, a laugh to be held, and a tear to be blessed." Suzanne Kyra Welcome Home To Yourself

Knowing that there are certain developmental needs, tasks, relationships, and transformations that occur in each developmental stage of life that requires us to achieve success. It helps to be mindful of what is required during each stage, rather than on what we might want, or hope for. Avoiding unexamined romantic ideas of what should be, we can prevent our being misled into believing that we have rights to certain outcomes. 

I am frequently reminded that the challenge of accepting what is needed in life's present life stage involves letting go of what my mind is wishing for, for what once was, or never was. It is wonderfully invigorating to go for what the need is right now, and for what success is imperative to experience. This is living in the now, with care for the future, and respect for the past. The key is to replace our wishes with conscious awareness of the healthy choices available in our present life, and create a reliable roadmap to achieve the success we need to thrive today and tomorrow.

If we focus first on things other than meeting the needs, tasks, or transformations required for each stage, we miss out on the teachings and gifts of our current developmental stage. Embracing the elements of our current life stage allows the next stage to build solidly on the previous ones. This is creating a solid foundation to live gracefully with whatever life presents us.

Whether life delivers crises, or wondrous gifts, the wisdom and knowledge acquired from the teachings of our previous life stages are there to support and guide us in making the astute, moral choices required by  the situation. The teachings from our previous life stages are the ground we walk on today. Be aware of who your teachers are, and what is their message. We require the right message from the right people. Our relationships deeply influences our life's well-being.

Welcoming the teachings of new life stages can cultivate ever more interest and curiosity in who we are, what could be born, and what could die to make room for the birth of something else. Like the metamorphosis of the butterfly, I experience life's stages as stepping stones to new possibilities, new successes, wearing new roles, and discovering new expansiveness in my identity and relationships. That there is a defined beginning and ending to our life is strong incentive to be respectful and fascinated by my and others' existence.

Welcome Home To Yourself- Suzanne Kyra 

 

How to get that special someone to like you! Start Up For That Special Romantic Relationship

Have you ever wondered how to gain the attention of someone who you are attracted to, and then keep this person's attention? Here is an article I wrote on just this subject. The topic is easily readable, light and playful, and full of take aways. I hope you enjoy it and apply the parts that most suits you how to enjoy your relationships whether it is a special someone, or to just enjoy your life. One of our biggest teachers is how to have healthy fun.

Click here:  https://www.yourtango.com/experts/suzanne-kyra/clever-how-get-crush-like-you

Enjoy,

Suzanne Kyra

Time Management and Self-Love

“Time is something we never get back. The more self-aware and empowered we are,  the better is our time management.  This I call self-love, the necessary ingredient for healthy time management.” 

-Suzanne Kyra

Time management and transitions.

Every year in every culture it is the custom to celebrate and acknowledge another year of life. We call it our birthday. Sometimes we make special plans for the day. Other times we treat this day as another ordinary and non-eventful day. When we experience defeat and disempowered, it is a day that we look at as a day best to ignored. We have then lost the understanding of how precious our lives are. It is in this state that we need to even more love ourselves with a loving acknowledgement of our birthday. This is the deeper meaning of time management. We never get a day back.

Now when we are in self-awareness, and feel alive, and strong, we create magic. Magic is that special ingredient which makes life a little more special.  Celebrating our lives launches us into higher productivity. Celebrations stimulates boldness, assertion, and inclusivity. This now creates the juice to go forward in the other parts of our lives which are more challenging and painful.

We need to stop and celebrate the small and big things in our lives, like birthdays, Mondays, Tuesdays ... This is necessary to manage the rest of our lives in an effective  and efficient manner. 

 Healthy time management stages

These are the key stages to developing awareness and agency to create change. How to create a fresh balance each day. 

First is celebrate that you are alive. Love yourself. Invest in your personal development. Make life good for yourself and all those around you. Be generous and grounded in reality. Bring joy to where you are and who you are  with. 

Second, is the stage of being with what is. Here we are sensing ourselves, and reflecting what is around us, and inside us. We ground ourselves in reality. We sense our core values, needs, integrity. We have healthy boundaries. We sense in what areas, are successful, learning, overwhelmed and, or procrastinating. 

Third is the stage of creating an action plan. We need to write this out, and be very detailed, and realistic. We need to acknowledge the time factor, the cost, the support needed, and the time frame it needs to complete. Focus your life this week on what most matters. Take a few minutes at the beginning of the week to put a doable plan into action. Be certain that your time management plan reflects the things that are important to you. Also a plan on how to care for those around you. Create manageable short-term goals to complete matters that do need your attention now. Be easy with yourself about those things that have come to overwhelm you. And the only solution you see is procrastination. 

Fourth is executing the plan. Take baby steps, seek healthy and efficient support wherever you can. Also execute how you will reward yourself. Be generous with your self care, relationships, work and play time. Each stage test the progress and re-calibrate wherever it is necessary. Be gentle and serious in creating the success required for today and the big picture. Do not stop until bliss has arrived. Each step of the way be mindful.  

Gratitude for our existence

We need to recognize and hold gratitude for our existence. This will support others to recognize the value of our existence, and vice versa. This is a power position to take for the rest of our lives. It takes a community to support the best time management.  The result is life begins to become more and more meaningful, and our time matters more and more to us. Many new choices are now available to us. 

Gratitude creates positive motivation

The more connected are with ourselves and others, the greater is our satisfaction. We carry within ourselves a sense of accomplishment and power. We examine our lives, our homes, our thoughts with an open curiosity. Joy, purpose, healthy attachments and love for life, replaces unnecessary obligations. Now this is a daily happy birthday. 

Gratitude creates such delicious moments, it opens us up to manage our daily lives.  Our inner child, our inner critic is at peace during these times. Wanting to feel this freedom from anxiety, worry, shame, loss, lonYet is natural. Yes, wanting these disempowering experiences to disappear is not enough. We need to create a plan on how to manage ourself, our thoughts, caring for our needs. This requires a deep commitment to how we will manage our time. 

"Seize the day!"

Someone once said to me, that it is a shame that we can’t have a birthday everyday. How true are those words? This is if we are happy and contented. Sometimes we put much time and energy into preparations for a special day. Imagine if we made each day important. Disciplined time managmenet is making every day matter. 

“Seize the Day” is a saying made popular in movies, liberation movements. “Seize the Day” is applicable in our lives. Why not take the time, the moment to hold gratitude for yourself and those around you. When was the last time you lived each day, as though it was your last day? When did you attend to finishing projects that have needed your attention for a long while? What if your time management focusses on your needs and responsiblities. See what magic begins to happen. Imagine the potential freedom and even fun.

We often let days pass without thinking too much about how we spend them. Weeks pass without us realizing how many wasted opportunities we have let slip away. We focus on surviving the day, and we loose sight of the bigger picture.

Self-Reflection

As each day ends, look at the goals, you had for that day, and ask yourself if you accomplished them. Also look at the successes you had this day, that was a nice surprise. Reflect on how much gratitude, and openness you felt to experience the joy of your success. How did this day add to your life? How open are you to feeling good? Allow your inner self to open up to what a beautiful world this is. 

Happiness is our reward when we manage our time. When done with  awareness, we realize everything around us does matter.  We are all connected. This is self-love. 

Thank you for reading this blog on time management and self-love! I enjoyed writing it for you.

Suzanne Kyra

Happy 150th Birthday Canada! Diversity, Connection and Resolution

Happy Canada day weekend! May we all find our own unique healthy way to celebrate Canada's 150th birthday. This is a country that prides itself in its diversity of culture. Diversity brings wonderful unique ways of celebrating Canada.

As we are preparing to celebrate Canada Day, some First Nations people are rallying in Ottawa to be heard, seen and acknowledged. This is a healthy response to honouring their needs. The more mutual connection, and healthy attachment we have with each other, the more friction we see in our connections. This means people are finding ways to work out issues. When people are silenced and threatened, the friction goes underground, and violence and marginalization always occurs. This is an immature state of a culture. What does have this have to do with celebrating Canada's birthday? Everything! Some Canadians are radiating abundance, and some Canadians are radiating hopelessness and despair. A true celebrations embraces all of these nuances in every person.

When people can safely step up, and ask with entitlement, "What about my needs?" There is an opportunity for negotiation and resolution. As a feminist, in the seventies, women did not ask for their needs to be met with as much entitlement as women do today. And yet, women today, have many more rights then women did in the seventies. Self-awareness brings more awareness to one's needs, and hunger to have these needs met. Hence, more friction is apt to begin.

As a clinical counsellor, and personal growth facilitator, I state where there is no friction there is no connection. Ask any engineer: "Can you have connection without friction?" Absolutely not! When we realize friction is natural in forming ever changing connections, development growth and transitions, we accommodate these transactions, and there is healthy back and forth interactions. The probability of violence is significantly less. The more mature a culture is in supporting individual differences and needs, the more mature are the solutions on how to create a yes and world with great flexibility and empowerment.

In systems where freedom for all is not honoured, people are shut down and the healthy friction becomes unhealthy fear, and violence. Coming back to Canada and its celebrations, the unrest Canada is seeing is healthy. This unrest and satisfaction which we see around us, is part of the the transformation which is happening in our country. Just the way it should be happening. Diversity is alive and well in Canada.

Remember connection and diversity brings out attachment and conflict. See what happened when Martin Luther King spoke out; "We have a dream." Ghandi spoke out: "Be the change". Nelson Mandala spoke out: "Freedom". Expressions of freedom and connection will always bring out conflict when change is happening, and change is always happening. When we have the tools and self-awareness to create mutual connection, and resolve conflict, it becomes a win-win situation. When we do not have the tools and personal development to deal with conflict, we have cut offs and violence. We create a world of immature differences of one up, and one down alliances. The superior and the inferior. An ethically devastating marriage.

Life is all about change. Now how will be celebrate Canada's 150 years of life? Lets say it this way? First comes the honeymoon, then comes the question: "Who are you Canada?" Then comes the hard work of making a home in Canada, and then comes the power struggles, on how to improve what is not working, and then comes the stage of acceptance, and then comes a gratefulness to live here. The same development stage in every relationship whether at home or at work.

The interesting part is, every Canadian citizen is at a different development stage in their alliance to Canada. I am first generation born here. The First Nations people have lived here since 1000 B.C to 500 B.C. See the perspective will be very different. Understanding this causes us all to pause and reflect on how we feel, and how does the other person feel. This develops deeper empathy.

Some Canadians are at the Honeymoon stage, some are at the power struggle stage, and some are at the gratefulness stage, some are doing their best to let only some change happen. At every stage there is something to gain and something to loose. Realizing this psychological flow in all relationships creates healthy responses, and brings opportunity for something more for the future. This is enlightened individuation.

Individuation creates a yes and world, a world of kindness and respect for each other.

May this be what Canada always stands for, a YES AND WORLD! All people are welcomed and loved!

Thank you to Canada, and to all of you who are so part of making this country great. Happy Canada Day! I love you Canada!

Thank you for reading this article. I would love to here your comments. Thank you.

Five Fabulous Ways to Live Happily - Happy New Year!

I have lived a life time of looking at what matters to all of us as a human race. What are the universal truths? How can we live in ways that exceed our best hopes? I have identified five fabulous ways to live happily which comes from my deep introspection, training, as well as personal and professional experience. I believe these five fabulous ways to live happily are quite attainable. Open Your Connection To The Heart

This requires us to feel the joy and pain of loving, as well as missing love. This means when a relationship has become derailed, we can still feel and connect with the love that first created the attachment of connection. Often to minimize the attachment, and to feel less pain, we cut off from ourselves and our true feelings in our heart. We dismiss the depth of caring that exists inside of us. It may seem that we are cutting off from the other person, but it is always ourselves we are truly cutting off from. We are actually cutting off from our deeper core, our deeper self. This can allow immediate relief, escape from hurt, however the potential consequence is an eternal schism from a deeper happiness. Opening our access to the heart is acknowledging to ourselves the mammoth number of relationships, and care that it has taken for us to be alive today. Recognizing the blessings of the ordinary is opening our hearts. It truly humbles us.

Opening the heart is placing a smile on our face, and looking around and seeing the beauty around us and in ourselves. This is returning to the innocence of the loving heart. In my son’s and my book, Welcome Home to Yourself, we explore this through introspection and photography.

Be Present

This requires full participation with what is occurring right now. This means no holding back, no passivity, no judgment, no sense of being inferior or superior. Being present is embracing that this moment, this relationship, this encounter, this job, this play, this rest, this meal and so on is what is most important right now. Being present is gifting every moment with staying in reality, holding a loving safe boundary, and having the awareness of choosing what is in the higher good for all. Being present is holding on to both realities, the I and thou. Balancing this encounter is living in awareness. Acting in awareness invites happiness with ourself, because we are doing our full part in engaging with our world. We cannot ask anything more from ourselves. Being present is also understanding that the outcome is out of our control.

Be Proactive

Being proactive is taking care of all our responsibilities, not allowing excuses to excuse us from living maturely. When we are not proactive, we need to do whatever we can to return to this conscious self-care.

Be Confident In Yourself

Even when you are afraid. It is not perfection which creates confidence, it is acceptance, and a belief that we have the right to step forward in our life. We always have something to share that benefits and gives value to those we are with.

Invite Satisfaction & Contentment As Constant Companions

This is to understand that being satisfied is stronger than all the strong feelings and emotions which block joy and happiness.

I hope you have enjoyed this list of fabulous ways to live happily, and I invite you to share your fabulous ways to live happily. All the best in 2011. May this year bring you great happiness!